// Being in a relationship//

Him: ”Being in a relationship means loving that special someone, taking care of each other, sharing each other’s joys and sorrows.”

Her: ”True, but it also means learning to forgive. When we’ve been hurt by the other, we learn to forgive them because of the love shared. But when we’re the ones who cause the other to hurt, we have to learn to forgive ourselves eventually. And from there both can move forward together.”

Don’t you see? I could love you forever, but it still won’t do any good if you keep thinking like that. Sometimes, I wish I can slap you and knock some common sense into that stubborn head of yours. Other times, I just feel like giving up. You just can’t see that we’re both hurting because of this foolish thought. Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Did I not show that I love you to tears, despite everything? 

I really don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried the cold shoulder, I’ve tried begging….listening, trying to understand. But nothing seems to work. It’s like you’re set on being stubborn. If you keep this up sweetie, sooner or later I can’t help anymore. Right now, I am trying so hard to be patient. I promise to support you and I will. But there will be a time in the future when I just have to walk away. The reason I’m not doing that now is because knowing you, you’ll just be more convinced that you’re not good enough for me.

I’m not only trying to prove you wrong, I also want to find out where all this came from. I’m trying to fix all the pieces together, after knowing where your weird behaviour stems from. You make me feel special, a better person ever since we met. I know you love me, but you’re letting your fear override that. You always tell me to believe in myself. So why can’t you do the same? What we have is important….and I don’t want to lose that. Or you. I wish you actually believe that.

The sad thing is, even if somehow you manage to find and read this, you still won’t change your mind. When you give up on yourself, you give up on us too. When the day comes that I have to say goodbye, please remember that it’s not because I want to. But it’s because I’ve failed you as a girlfriend and I’m sorry. 

I love you, Aizat Bin Zamzam